Now for something completely different

I am going to re-post an entry from Daily Kos.

Because I think it will be purged pretty quickly.

re And Feeding Instructions

from Daily Kos by Hunter <rss@dailykos.com>

Congratulations
on your purchase of your new 110th Congress! These care and feeding
instructions will help ensure many years of future enjoyment of your
Congress: please read them carefully.

CONTENTS

As packaged, your new Congress contains:

• 1 Capitol (white)
• 435 live Representatives (also mostly white)
• 100 live Senators (mostly blazingly, translucently white)
• Congress Chow, in the form of hundreds of billions of dollars in cash
• A variety of checks and balances. You may set these aside: they don't actually do anything.

INSTRUCTIONS

1. 
   Soon after installing your new Congress, a green, cash-rich buildup may
   occur. This buildup is a normal part of the ecological balance in your
   Congress; the murky green colors will fade slightly as the ratio of
   legislators to beneficial lobbyists finds a natural balance.

1. 
   Do not expose your Congress to direct sunlight, as this may cause
   excessive "loss" of Senators and Representatives. In order to best
   ensure the health of your Congress, keep it in a dimly lit place,
   preferably near a variety of restaurants.

1. If your
   Congress begins looking drab, place an American flag behind the tank.
   This will stimulate your Congressmen into a variety of unusual
   displays. When the effect fades, add more flags.

1. Do
   not taunt your Congress. Their feelings are easily hurt, and may result
   in uncontrollable, deafening wailing. If this happens, add additional
   flags.

1. A certain amount of sexual perversion is
   normal. If your household includes children, place your Congress in a
   location where children will not have direct access to it. Positioning
   your Congress away from telephone and other communications equipment
   will help prevent a buildup of prostitutes.

1. As
   normal behavior, your Senators and Representatives will travel in
   schools. You may notice portions of your Congress from time to time
   erupt in panic over an unseen enemy, usually hippies or communists.
   This is normal, and will usually resolve itself through a series of
   sternly worded but ineffectual bills.

1. Your Congress
   is a carefully organized hierarchical society. Watch them work together
   to build highways, bridges, and overfunded vanity projects. Do not,
   however, expect them to show interest in you or acknowledge your
   presence in any way. If that's what you wanted, you should have bought
   a dog.

1. Under optimal conditions, your Congress may
   develop one or two Presidential Candidates. The bright colors and
   dramatic displays of these creatures can provide hours of
   entertainment. While Presidential Candidates may add excitement to your
   Congress, note that they are territorial and prone to fighting: keep
   Candidates separate as much as possible. Also, be aware that
   Presidential Candidates require ten times the amount of nutrition of
   other legislators, so feed regularly.

1. Clean your
   Congress every two years to remove buildup and prevent disease. Wipe
   your Congress with a disinfecting solution made up of cursory debate,
   weakly contested primaries, and embarrassingly shallow campaign
   coverage. It won't make the slightest bit of difference, but what the
   hell -- it will give you something to do.

All sales final. No refunds. May exchange for identically dysfunctional Congress only.

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